We all rest in our thoughts at times. More recently, I have decided to share some of the thoughts that linger in my mind throughout the day with my friends and family via Facebook. Of course not all things are meant to be placed on social media, but the musing of my mind at times require feedback, confirmation, and a good laugh (after all I am not the only person who thinks these things).
I posted four things that I believe are the foundation of growth for all young black girls. At some point in our lives we were all taught too: 1.) Comb our hair from the roots 2.) Squat never sit 3.) Always wear clean undergarments (you never know when you are to get into an accident) and 4.) Never ever go to bed without a scarf on your hair. In my heart of hearts I know that all black mothers teach their girls these basic truths. After all, the likes and the ‘I know that’s right’ comments that I received on Facebook confirmed that I certainly wasn’t the only one.
The conversations about morals, sex, and men come later in life. But, the fundamental teachings of a young girl’s existence are to always be clean and to look dignified. Most of the things that our mothers teach us at such a young age are truths that carry us throughout our life. At least my mother’s truths allowed me to soar. She had passed down to me all of the basic lessons that she had been taught by my grandmother. These were words of wisdom, ones that are typically not carbon copied into the minds of today’s generation.
While working with disadvantaged youth, I was reminded of how many young women are blank slates. By the time I was their age, my mental black board had already been etched upon with permanent chalk. Thus, the things that were not to shape me had been expunged by my mother’s corrective eraser. My life had been filled with experiences that began to mold me as a woman. Yet, for most of the young women that I encountered their slates into womanhood had been filled with strikes to their self esteem, conversations in their head with Meek Mills, and mirror images of butt injected video vixens that raised them as their mothers are either working overtime or giggled to interest of their new male companion. I realized that these girls had not been taught and in order for them to learn, attention to detail must be manifested by many of their teachers. I was one of their teachers.
My mother was my first teacher. She drilled basic truths into my head and there is no doubt that one day, if I a blessed enough to have a daughter I will drill these same old school methods of living into hers. They are the foundation of class; ultimately they are the foundation of what makes a girl a woman. My future child will not be left to her own musing, reared by social media and her teenage friends who bear children, yet are still afraid of the dark. I will not allow her to bask in ignorance, choosing to make uninformed decisions as if those are her only options. I will teach my future daughter to 1.) Comb her hair from the roots 2.) Natural hair fairs better than permed hair 3.) Squat NEVER sit 4.) Be careful when using social media 5.) Always wear clean undergarments 6.) Make sure her cell phone is always charged (Payphones are of course from my day) 7.) Never ever go to bed without a scarf wrapping your hair and 8.) Never SEXT!!
Times have undoubtedly changed, but lessons will always be lessons if they are laid as foundations to build upon.
*Feature image by artist: Sophie Vigneault