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Listen Intently.
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It is January 2022 and here I am, just a few months shy of my mastering consistency year anniversary. Lately, I have been writing ever-so-often, yet it seems that I ‘thought dump’ close to once a year. This time around, I trying to be different. I write often, yet I don’t share. I pay to take up space within the bounds of an unlimited domain, yet the only person who knows that I inhibit these confines is me. It is a safe haven of sorts. It is a net to catch me if I so choose to take a leap; one of faith that is.
My thoughts overcrowd my mind like a crowdsourcing platform, I rarely alleviate the pressure of all of my ideas, I simply push them to the side. However, here this platform sits and awaits my voice to come to speak with it. I am never certain if anyone is listening, yet here it is; an old friend. It has been nearly 14 years since I began this journey of writing online. I have bounced between integration and managing formulations, yet the one thing that I have yet to master is consistency.
Ah, consistency. Otherwise known as evenness, steadiness, stability. My everyday life lacks deviation. I meal prep, layout outfits, write lists, draft emails to be mailed and sent out in advance. I run on schedule. Of course, each day there is a bit of color thrown onto this otherwise grey slate. Yet, the beauty of routine is what makes my day. Writing, however, is personal. It requires a level of vulnerability that is nurtured, unscheduled, untethered.
My mind must be relieved, free from the consumption of worry and the burden of others. The latter hasn’t been my narrative as of late. 2020 was a weight like many, that I am still bearing, 2021 was a renewal and 2022 is yet to be written. Some days are pain that demands to be felt and I am still in my feelings; with my pen and notepad. Sitting still unknowingly unleashes and unravels much. It has grounded my world and I am resetting. In this process, I will move into year 14, grab the hand of this old friend and attempt to not consistently take up space, but exist in it.
So, here in January 2022, I am pubically working on consistency. Not the kind that holds me accountable to someone else, nor the kind that pays me a check. Consistency to myself. The kind that shows up when motivation is lacking. The kind that is there when no one is watching. I will be my own accountability buddy and push myself to bounds that have otherwise only been known by checkboxes and acknowledgment. This time accountability will look like providing myself grace and much more love. Pouring in myself all that I so abundantly give to others.
For a quick snippet on what consistency may look like, check out this IG post that I read often by the well-worded Michelle Clark on COMMITMENT.
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Great goal, keep releasing; writing! ❤
I’m listening! ❤️